a few months ago I never would have thought january 13 would come. a few months I had no idea where I was going in africa. a few months ago I had zero support raised. a few months ago I thought I was ready to leave. oh how wrong I was!
God has taught me so much over the past few months. He has put me in situations that threw me back into His arms. He has brought people to point me the right way. He has brought friends to hug me when I feel completely shattered. He has increased my parents’ faith & my grandparents’ faith (pray for them). He has provided over $9,500 for my $7,000 trip. He has strengthened me amidst the breaking moments. He has fought the battles that I can’t see.
pslam 37:4 has been an important verse & prayer for me this year. “delight yourself in the Lord, & He will give you the desires of your heart.” the hebrew word for desire in verse 4 is `anag. the definition is to be soft, be delicate, be dainty. this definition has always made me picture a plucked flower. it is limp, relaxed, at rest in my hand. & if I can be like this flower & be “limp” in God’s hand then He can move me. He can pick me up & plant me wherever He wants. He can take His desires & turn them into my desires. if I am “limp,” I am not resisting His work in my life therefore I am at rest & in peace & satisfied with my Gardener’s work. & that has become this hart’s desire: to be satisfied with my Gardener. to find every ounce of my fulfillment in Him. nothing else will satisfy. nothing else will fulfill.
when people ask or comment about my trip to africa, my habitual response is, “it’s gonna be good.”
but that’s exactly right. because God is good. He has been working on my heart up to the last minute & He will continue to clean my heart & form it into something beautiful while I am there. He has provided more than enough for me. He has calmed my anxiety & replaced it with His peace. yes, this trip is going to be good because I have the best traveling buddy I could ask for.
over the next few days, pray for peace for me & my family as we say our goodbyes. pray for a smooth process at world harvest headquarters on monday as we go through the last few papers & packing. pray for help with all the luggage in each airport. pray for a strong stomach (mine has been in pain the last 24 hours every time I eat food). & over the next few months, pray that I will have a heart for the hurting & the poor. that I will be submissive to my leaders, clothed in humility. pray for my mouth to be guarded & for wisdom from the Lord. pray for a heightened learning capacity. & unity & love among the the team.
I am so thankful for the many friends & family that I have behind me fighting the spiritual battles through prayer. thank you for those that have prayed over me these past few days. those moments have gotten me through the week.
so for now…
goodbye comfort & convenience. goodbye family & friends.
hello to another exciting adventure!